Bedtime Thoughts on Feminism (and the rambling that ensued)

Growing up I was that girl who never let boys open doors or lift heavy things for me. I sort of reveled in proving my own strength and ability, especially if a male happened to be watching to take in the show.

I was driving to Columbus today, listening to my sister’s first album for old time sake, and the words of the first love song she penned sort of caught in my throat.

(go ahead and listen while you read, you know you want to *grin* -it’ll give you that mushy feeling we all secretly love)

Anyway, I had an hour drive and the only makeup I was wearing was water proof mascara, so I let the moment run away with me thoroughly enjoying every mushy minute of it. When a deer darted out in front of me (common occurrence here) the moment ended abruptly and I was instantaneously back to reality.

And to logic.

And to that gut-level honesty that only happens in places like your car where the rest of life is shut out behind four heavy metal doors and there’s no one within arm’s reach.

The honest thought I had went something like this:
Kate, you were never really that tough. You were always pretty vulnerable and raw and sensitive underneath all of the achievement and strength and self-reliance. And what you really longed for was someone that would see past all that to the real you and speak those feminine qualities into full blossom.

Yep. It went something like that.

And somewhat surprisingly, I am pretty okay with it.

Strength and a measure of toughness are admirable qualities, but lately I’ve found myself relaxing into my femininity like a person who has been sitting up straight and proper in a big ole overstuffed papasan chair and finally just gives in, leans back, and finds the chair quite accommodating.

I am not tough or self sufficient or above getting my feelings hurt easily.

These thoughts swirled in my head all throughout my body wrap (which was delightful, by the way) and when I laid down all wrapped up like a mummy in the moodily lit room with the cushy beds and soft music, I located my Bible and thumbed my way right to the very front.

As I read the cryptic and poetic accounts of how the world came to be with the first woman and man, I noticed something that had never caught my attention before.

I love the creation story for a lot of reasons… I spent years fighting with it and underlining and trying to make it adhere to reason, but now I like to read it with the kind of whispery cadence that elevates the story to a location above my mind… I get caught up in the beauty and the poetry and in imagining God hovering over the surface of the deep, brooding- no! churning with possibility. I imagine Him creating and separating with absolute delight….totally in His element.

And not that men don’t like to create, but there is something about that picture of God giving birth to all that would be… shaping and molding it… that I really identify with as a woman. I found myself a day ago out in the jungle of my new yard, planning and scribbling ideas and pruning back vines and branches and dreaming about what would bloom next Spring. And its no different when I think about the inside of the house… what colors should go where, what photos will be perfect. Its in a woman to create a home. The creation story to me reflects that quality in God, as He goes about setting a dwelling in order, with all of the trimmings and details.

I don’t think on the seventh day He just rested. I think He kicked back to drink in the beauty of what His hands had created. In a similar way, but on a tremendously smaller scale, there is a settledness in tucking everyone in and putting the house back in order and then just sitting quietly with a cup of tea and some pleasant soundtrack to just enjoy. That’s rest for the soul…

I was all caught up in the beauty of the epic tale and dreams of blooming lilies when the words I was reading jumped right out in front of my thoughts not unlike the deer a hour or so earlier.

{Genesis 2}
18Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

19Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.

20The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for [b]Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.

22The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

23The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

What’s so new about that, right? Well, the order of things frankly. God sees that man shouldn’t be alone but before creating woman God gets Adam started on naming all of the animals. And let’s be honest, its not like God really thought a beaver or an elephant was going to be the perfect pairing for Adam. He knew, and yet He didn’t just go ahead and make Eve and then let them name the animals together.

Most of the women I know do the naming when it comes to having babies. Not that the men don’t throw in their two cents and veto a name here or there, but I doubt if it was up to the men all of those baby name book writers would still be coming up with new ways to package the same old name books. I mean I started lists of names for my kids way back in fourth grade long before I even knew where babies came from, so let’s just keep it real here. How many men do you know who as little boys were scribbling names on their homework papers. Not many, I’d dare to bet

So it caught me by surprise…this whole commencement of naming that purposefully took place without the woman.

And then again it didn’t.

Men don’t pick out a suitable helper these days and then name her… ‘And I shall call you Diane!‘ nah, I don’t think so. But don’t kid yourself… men are still in the business of naming. Someone twittered yesterday, “you can see the character of man by looking into the eyes of his wife”. Put that together with “the eyes are the windows to the soul” and I think you’ll almost be able to hear my train of thought whistling down the tracks.

Just as the essence of woman is to create and nurture a home (in as many varied ways as that comes), so the essence of a man is to be about the business of naming those around him. If a father calls a child courageous, the child’s chest will puff out until it almost explodes. If a husband calls a wife beautiful, just watch and see if she doesn’t bloom into the most gentle spirit for miles. And likewise if a man injures his wife with sharp or evil words, you can almost feel the woman shrivel up from across the room.

Its Kingdom order for a man to love his bride as Christ loves the church… and its the fallenness by which we’ve inherited the curse,

{Genesis 3}
16To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”

The naming which was meant for good is turned into the ruling women for centuries have been bristling and legistlating against. The naming which emphasized the man’s great responsibility in leadership has been warped into a power struggle over who has the upper hand.

And that’s not even the worst of it… read the last two lines of verse 16 again… “your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you”. What a potentially horrid dichotomy! The wife is longing for her husband and he’s heavy handed with her.

There’s no doubt that fallen order is taking place all around us… if you think about it, I bet you won’t have to think long to cite an example.

And yet the good news to those who believe is simple: The first Adam came and set into motion death, but the second Adam (aka Christ) came to fulfill what God intended… He became death in order to loose the chains on life.

Consider the words of Paul,

{Romans 5, Amplified version}
12Therefore, as sin came into the world through one man, and death as the result of sin, so death spread to all men, [no one being able to stop it or to escape its power] because all men sinned.

13[To be sure] sin was in the world before ever the Law was given, but sin is not charged to men’s account where there is no law [to transgress].

14Yet death held sway from Adam to Moses [the Lawgiver], even over those who did not themselves transgress [a positive command] as Adam did. Adam was a type (prefigure) of the One Who was to come [in reverse, the former destructive, the Latter saving].

15But God’s free gift is not at all to be compared to the trespass [His grace is out of all proportion to the fall of man]. For if many died through one man’s falling away (his lapse, his offense), much more profusely did God’s grace and the free gift [that comes] through the undeserved favor of the one Man Jesus Christ abound and overflow to and for [the benefit of] many.

16Nor is the free gift at all to be compared to the effect of that one [man's] sin. For the sentence [following the trespass] of one [man] brought condemnation, whereas the free gift [following] many transgressions brings justification (an act of righteousness).

17For if because of one man’s trespass (lapse, offense) death reigned through that one, much more surely will those who receive [God's] overflowing grace (unmerited favor) and the free gift of righteousness [putting them into right standing with Himself] reign as kings in life through the one Man Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

18Well then, as one man’s trespass [one man's false step and falling away led] to condemnation for all men, so one Man’s act of righteousness [leads] to acquittal and right standing with God and life for all men.

19For just as by one man’s disobedience (failing to hear, heedlessness, and carelessness) the many were constituted sinners, so by one Man’s obedience the many will be constituted righteous (made acceptable to God, brought into right standing with Him).

20But then Law came in, [only] to expand and increase the trespass [making it more apparent and exciting opposition]. But where sin increased and abounded, grace (God’s unmerited favor) has surpassed it and increased the more and superabounded,

21So that, [just] as sin has reigned in death, [so] grace (His unearned and undeserved favor) might reign also through righteousness (right standing with God) which issues in eternal life through Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) our Lord.

I love the Amplified version… Romans can be a hard book to understand, so take away these key points. Death came into the world on the vehicle of sin and the vehicle was revved up by one man, the first man, namely Adam. From his one act of prideful disobedience, sin proliferated to us all-

among the curses we see this disharmony between men and women, in which women are oft pining over men only to have their delicate hearts crushed by the sharp tongue of a man whose left behind Godly naming for the weaker, fleshy counterpart: power-

But we who Believe that Christ came and released life have hope. For if sin was able to spread like wildfire just riding on the coattails of disobedience how much more will the profuse righteousness of God superabound to those who lay hold of it!

And how do we lay hold of this free gift of God that will breathe life and right living into each day, blowing the doors off of the curse?

FAITH.

By definition: believing God to the point of obedience.

If self promotion unleashed sin into the world, then certainly unrestrained reliance has the authority to keep it at bay.

Ladies we need not be pining after men and men, you can learn through obedience how to give the women around you Godly names.

Kingdom order is not out of reach, friends.