“I am taking Whoopi,” I said firmly. Moderating is my thing. “Well just because I am the oldest does mean I have to be Barbara!” Mom begged. No one wanted to make anyone be the oft crude Joy, so the conversation sort drifted into oblivion…after starting with a laugh when I suggested we could easily be the new View.
Trust me, when the four of us get together and start talking its TiVo worthy.
I don’t think I would ever do a podcast by myself because let’s be honest, it would be boring- plus what if my voice sounded uber weird? Nah… I don’t think so. Now add Mom, Beth, and Beck and all I can think is podcast. Beth used to carry around this tiny recorder in case she got a genius song idea… it was cheap but a huge step up from calling her phone and leaving herself a message. I would’ve given my right arm for that thing Saturday afternoon on the drive to Easton.
I also would have had to do a lot of editing, I am afraid to get it rated “E” for Everyone. *grin* There are some topics that you can talk about in front of family that you shouldn’t probably open up publicly – you with me?
We laughed and what skeptical “what!?!?” and “no way!”s to Beth’s re-telling of a men’s health article she had read while looking up something on WebMD for Shane. Mom giggled like a school girl. We all forget how little she gets away from the house until we take her out and away from the five males she lives with and see how hysterical she becomes. We voiced our “concerns” about her getting older- if she’s this free now, we had better start praying against senility pronto! *grin*
All of us but Beth are trying to lose a few pounds this fall so we started talking about diets and this book and the exercise from this book I’ve been telling you about. Somehow the conversation turned to detoxing, juicing and fasting. And then Beth added colonics to the discussion. About four years ago, Mom, Beth and I ordered this nasty stuff from TV. It looked like charcoal and promised to clean out the intestines and colon of any left over waste. The package told tales of people losing 10-15lbs from waste on this special formula. Basically it promised us a 10lbs turd. And who wouldn’t like to drop that kind of weight with a trip to the toilet? We drank it all faithfully and the only interesting thing that happened in the bathroom was that it looked like we were eliminating charcoal. I sort of gave up any kind of colonic at that point, but not Beth. She’s always hopeful. “I would love to have one,” she said. I told her Dr Oz on Oprah said colonics are a scam because any left over waste goes into fat and isn’t just lying around inside our intestines. “Really?” she was disappointed. Then she opened her purse and started rummaging through it until she produced a small plastic bag of green pills. “I bought these to detox but I can’t take them because they will interfere with the pill. I didn’t realize that when I bough them- anyone?” I took the bag from here and started to read…that’s when I saw “$3.99” printed on the packaging. “Beth? Where did you buy these? a gas station? Do you really think you were going to get a quality detox for $4?” We all laughed first and then Beth shrugged with her one eyebrow raised like Sherlock Holmes. Its a signature look.
We arrived at the Saturday-crazed Easton 40 minutes before the movie so we parked in one hour parking and ran into Barnes and Noble for some coffee. While we all got hot drinks (its chilly here now) Mom tried to be healthy and opted for this fiber rich smoothie that was of course, cold. Her lips were blue in minutes. We ran out and parked again- this time in the free area that was across the mall. (I love being with other cheap people!)
We bought our tickets and made into the theater just as the previews started rolling. We caught the last 30 seconds of a new Will Smith movie. As it ended, Beth leaned over to me, “A drama with Will Smith? I don’t even know what its about and I have cold chills! I am seeing that.” The next movie, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, looked so depressing I couldn’t imagine watching it if someone paid me. I made that mistake once with The Hours. No thank you– life is depressing enough at times, I don’t need to fork over $10 to have someone make me feel blue.
“The Secret Life of Bees” flashed up on the screen and immediately knew this was going to be good. Before the movie, we had all wondered if we should get tissues. Becky said she would cry, Mom was a maybe, and Beth and I were pretty sure we wouldn’t since we don’t cry at movies. Well, learn your lesson from us- if you go see this movie (and you should!) take some tissues. Even if you don’t normally cry at movies, you will cry at this one. That Dakota Fanning is such an amazing little actress! I don’t want to spoil it for anyone so I will just say: take tissues and some girl friends. The acting is great, the story is well adapted from the book, and don’t even get me started on the soundtrack!
We all left the theater wiping tears and sharing our favorite parts or lines. Mom morphed into the movie critic. “I just don’t think Alicia Keyes showed the same range as an actress compared to the rest of the cast. What do you think?” We all laughed and mocked her “range as an actress” comment with English voices and lots of embellished gestures. Mom smirked and raised one eyebrow and shrugged. Mmm…I see where Beth gets it. (For the record, I though Miss Keye’s range was just fine- although it is hard to be on par with Jennifer Hudson and Dakota Fanning)
It was now 7pm and all of the eateries were brimming with hungry people. The wait at The Cheesecake Factory was 90 minutes and we waited in line ten minutes to get that quote. A lady leaving pushed past the crowd and yelled, “well people if you want to get in you have to let the rest of us OUT!” We decided a place inciting that kind of rage just wasn’t for us.
The Melting Pot was a few doors down. Beth was the only one of us who’d been before and she said she didn’t think it was that expensive when I asked. Good thing the menu was posted outside because it would have been $40-$50 a person. “Oh yeah… I think I remember now that I went here with Shane back when we were dating and he was still working pretty hard to impress me…” Since Beck didn’t want Chinese and I didn’t want Italian and Beth didn’t want Mexican by process of elimination we landed at the much more wallet friend California Pizza Kitchen.
That’s when we started getting calls from Aaron, who was watching Cohen at my house. He laid Cohen down but Co cried and he wasn’t sure what to do. I asked him if it was a “hysterical cry” or a “fussy cry” and then I realized Aaron doesn’t have kids so it probably all sounds hysterical to him. After a few tries, Cohen went down and the phone calls died out. We caught our waiter taking sips from wine glasses at the bar before he delivered them- no joke. Luckily, the heaviest drink at our table was Beck’s Mountain Dew so I think hope we were safe from his germs.
The night ended too quickly and nights like that happen too infrequently. Mom and I do coffee or a late night movie when we can both stay awake (read: a couple of times a year) We all talk on the phone a good deal, but its not the same as going out somewhere together. Beck & Aaron left for Nashville the next day and Beth left a few days later for Dallas.
The older I get the more convinced I am that my family will always be the source for most of my great friendships. There’s nothing like spending an evening laughing and sharing with people who share your same history and who get your personality quirks and with whom little explanation is necessary…
**PS- Go see The Secret Life of Bees if you haven’t yet! and then stop by and let me know what you think!**