As parents, we all try to shield our children from pain. We don’t want them to hurt. So we jump up and fly across the room when we see them losing their balance near the edge of coffee table (b/c that is always where they start to stumble) and we want to tell off the kids at school who leave them out or call them names.
When I was in kindergarten I was in love with a neighbor boy named Kyle who was in the fifth grade. In comparison to his younger brother and the rest of the boys on our street, he was very nice to me. He would make them include me in their games and never gave me a hard time about being a girl. So, of course, I thought the crush was a mutual thing. I have long since forgotten how bad it hurt my feelings when I tried to play with him during recess and he informed me that I was a ‘baby’ in front of the older kids, BUT I have never forgotten Mom’s reaction when I told her about it. I was crying and snot-nosed and crushed and I think she was ready to do some crushing. *grin*
We want to spare our children hurt feelings and unfair experiences… that Mama or Papa Bear in us rises up and is ready to do whatever is necessary to protect them.
But we can’t protect them from everything, try as we may. Every life is going to have some pain. Everyone is going to experience some suffering. Its a part of being human.
The last few days I’ve been revisiting the book of Job. And I’ve been thinking about his suffering. The sheer amount of what he lost is mind-boggling. I can’t imagine losing one child (I could hardly type that sentence), let alone ten. To be stripped of everything you own, have your own body covered in sores and boils, and then to lose all of your family except one unsupportive spouse? I cannot even fathom it.
But more than his losses, I’ve been thinking about his perspective. After hearing one horrible report after the next, Job prepared his body for mourning (shaved head, torn clothing) but his heart for worship… he said,
Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
And then the writer attempts to sum up his incredible statement by saying “In all of this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.”
Later, when his wife tells him to curse God and die (unsupportive might’ve been a serious understatement) he replies, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?”
And again, the writer attempts to sum it up, “In all of this, Job did not sin in what he said.”
Its humbling to consider what kind of a person, faced with that massive of a loss, would respond the way Job did. Sure, the book has 42 chapters and Job and his friends engage and argue about whether or not suffering is necessary, whether suffering happens to us all equally, whether or not God is behind suffering, and ultimately whether or not God is truly good.
And at the end of the matter, when God responds to Job and does not answer all of the ‘why me?’ kind of questions, but instead gives a glimpse into Who He is…Job gives a telling response,
“Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know… My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.”
Suffering is a part of life.
Mom and I were talking the other day and I was expressing this desire to never let Cohen be hurt or disappointed or wounded and then in the next breath telling her I knew that was a desire that would go unfulfilled. We sat in silence for a few moments and then we started to talk about the people we’ve known who’ve suffered great things.
It occurred me to somewhere on the drive that all of the people I love the most have suffered the most. The people I feel a connection to are the people who have gone through the fire and come out of it not melted or burned, but refined. The same sun that hardens clay will melt butter. The reaction to the sun has more to do with the properties within the item exposed than the sun itself.
And so it is with suffering… we are all going to experience intense and mild(er) pain in our human existance. None of us will leave 70+ years and go to grave without experiencing unfairness and the fallenness of ourselves and others… We are all going to be exposed to that sun..that fire…
It is what is inside of us that will determine how we react to the pain.. will we melt in our own emotion, shrivel up in fear, harden so as never to be hurt again, or will we allow the unpleasant (and at times, unwarranted) heat refine us and rid us of impurity?
So instead of praying for no hurt to go Co’s way, I think I am going to start praying for God to infuse his precious little heart with the kind of material that can come out of the heat more beautiful than it went in. And in the meantime, I am praying that God will make my life an example of that for him to see day in and day out.
I want to be like Jesus. I want to learn obedience through the things I suffer…
“Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8)
This is one of those blogs that I just want to plug my ears and close my eyes and go “LaLaLa”! BUT its something we all need to hear!
Thank you for the reminder Kate
Beautiful Kate.
this is the 2nd time i’ve heard this today.
Kate that was so beautiful and SO necessary for me to hear. With 2 baby girls of my own I can only pray that God will do the same for their little hearts. Thanks for reminding us that suffering is necessary to make us stronger! Now I’m gonna go read Job! 🙂
inspiring… I’m always wanting for my sorrow to go away, or wishing I was strong enough to deal from it, better than I am now. But to pray for God to shape me through it, to purpose it for good… that’s deep!
Love & Blessings
Kate, I fell upon your blog.. and I’ve gotta say.. this is probably one of my favorite of your writings thus far!! Don’t we all relate to suffering as a Believer?? I love this line you wrote – “After hearing one horrible report after the next, Job prepared his body for mourning (shaved head, torn clothing) but his heart for worship” ..there’s so much in that one line. Bless you for sharing what was in your overflow to the rest of the world to see. May we all seek to be that suffering servant for Him, like the ideal – Christ Himself. -Sheryl
Would you believe that I just posted a blog about suffering today myself. Wow. Sending you blessings and pray that your Easter weekend is full of NEW LIFE & SWEET, SWEET blessings! Amy in OR
Loved this blog Kate & especially what you said here:
‘It occurred me to somewhere on the drive that all of the people I love the most have suffered the most. The people I feel a connection to are the people who have gone through the fire and come out of it not melted or burned, but refined. The same sun that hardens clay will melt butter. The reaction to the sun has more to do with the properties within the item exposed than the sun itself.’
I was thinking about it and that is so, so true! was thinking of the people i love and respect the most.. like my closest friends & their families, and they have all gone through some pretty tough times & come out stronger for it by God’s grace & strength 🙂 beauty from pain.
There is an unexplainable beauty in suffering. It breaks my heart as a mom, like you, so what better prayer to pray than the material of their hearts be such that comes out of the fire more refined and pure, more like Him. You are a sweet example of leaning into Christ. I know several who are being refined severely right now, and I pray they draw nearer to Christ, so close to touch the hem of his garment and be healed, and in the process become more like Him. Glory-filled thoughts on this Holy Saturday. Happy Resurrection Sunday tomorrow. Love, Annette