Right now my little Co Bean is asleep beside me on the couch. He is wearing his baseball pajamas (although its likely he won’t be wearing them by morning) and clinging to his orange trimmed Diego cup. Occasionally he breaks out a smile or jerks with his eyes closed, lost in one dream or another. I could watch him all night.
All new parents worry. I think it comes with the realization that the child God has given you is depending on you to care for their needs. Without even going beyond the physical necessities, the demands are often staggering. You have nine months to prepare and yet its not enough. What could prepare you to be responsible for such a helpless creature?
I have always worried about him… he was only 4lbs 8oz when he came home from the hospital, too tiny for the preemie clothes… tiny enough to make all our visitors apprehensive about holding him. Once we figured out nursing and he started to grow, I worried about letting him cry. And then I worried about his teeth coming in late. After that it was crawling that set me on edge and then walking. Boys are not without their bumps and bruises.
In the last months my thoughts have turned to his emotional health. How do I discipline? How do I instruct him about authority without breaking his spirit? What hurt can I protect him from? And how do I steady him in the midst of the situations I cannot control?
I sat in that hotel room Saturday morning and when I got to Psalm 144:12
“..our sons will be as plants grown large in their youth…”
the Lord gave me a vision for my son. As I meditated on the verse, a pictured formed in my mind of a large oak tree, with deep roots and branches extending on every side stretched toward heaven. And the word that came again and again to the forefront of my mind was SOLID.
He won’t be weak or willowy, but solid all of the way through.
I’ve never heard God audibly, but then again, I’ve also never felt something so impressed on my spirit.
Tears formed at the corners of my eyes and my mouth started to repeat a Psalm I had memorized in my youth.
1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
Prompted to pray this blessings over my son, I began to pour out my request before the Lord:
BLESSED is Cohen who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather.
But Cohen’s delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) Cohen habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night.
And Cohen shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth his fruit in its season; his leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything Cohen does shall prosper [and come to maturity]
Amen. So let it be, Jesus.